saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
