i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
