East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
