Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
