C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
