She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
