If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
it's not cheating when I paid for it
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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