fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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