But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
