Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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