I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
3 2 1 whiskey
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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