he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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