this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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