Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
