Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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