Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize