we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
