youre lurking in front of me
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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