I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
