When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
