Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
