chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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