whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
