You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
