we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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