I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
