i would punch a child for taco bell
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
How naked do you want me to be?
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