So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
