So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
