I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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