one might say we're banned from that church
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
