this beer tastes like vomit already
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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