I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
