he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
