I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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