Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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