Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
