I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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