I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
