He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
