I can't watch pbs sober anymore
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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