direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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