someone owes me an orgasm
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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