The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
