She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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