He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
