I want to walk on stilts...naked
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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