Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
