and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
