Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
