rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
