Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
