i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
