Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
