I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
