Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
