take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she pinky promised me she was 18
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
