She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
