remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
