Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
