We won't sleep together?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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